Saturday, April 27, 2024

Rant: Fallout Series + R.I.P. TV

 Unlike many different series or media, there are objective rankings for the Fallout games.  If you disagree with the following list this tells me one of two things about you:

1: You haven't played all the games.
2: You are a moron who doesn't understand storytelling and/or have ADHD and can't actually concentrate on anything for more than 5 seconds at a time.

Here's the list in objective order of quality:

1: Fallout 2
2: Fallout
3: New Vegas
4: Tactics
5: Fallout 3
6: Fallout 4
7: BoS
8: Fallout 76

There is a chance 76 eventually moved past BoS after they realized how shitty the original game was and patched in little things like making NPCs being a thing.  There is a decent gulf of quality between Vegas and Tactics, as well as Tactics and Fallout 3 and Fallout 4 and BoS.  There is an argument to be made for Tactics to be considered canonical due to quality (Like a prototype for Wasteland 2).  The entirety of the east coast canon can burn for all I care.  There are a few fun vaults and areas.  A few fun creatures.  But for the most part the entire Bethesda line is a waste of effort and assets.

I can't stress how objective this quality listing is.  The reason the Amazon Fallout series is considered "good" by some of the fanbase is because there are those who haven't played better than the 5th game in the line.  It fits somewhere around BoS in quality.  If you only know the shitty games, you will think (see above) that this series is faithful and a decent representation of the games.  

It's an interesting litmus test as the more you like the Amazon Fallout series the less you know about the line, the less you've played it, and the less you even understand storytelling or even good television.  Good television died with the blue sky era of USA Network.  Since that block of comfort TV ended, basically all of television has been varying degrees of shit.  Most television nowadays, including what counts as good TV, is not TV.  They are long movies split up by intermissions, including those as bad as the Amazon Fallout series or the most quality examples like Stranger Things Season 1.